I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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