did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
