I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
