wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
