you would pick up someone in the library
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
