Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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