Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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