hell yes lets make some ravioli
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
