Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
