i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
