Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
