ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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