You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
