fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
