just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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