so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
