I want to have your abortion
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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