THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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