I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
