Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
