just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
