she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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