At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
