I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
