What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
