Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
