I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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