will power is for people who don't want to get laid
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
