I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
