Walk of Shame. In a state park.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
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