no. you can't hotbox the world.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
