i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
