she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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