The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
