When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
