took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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