If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Found the puke drawer
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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