Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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