Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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