apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Randomize
