Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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