Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
