I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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