I got chris browned last night
she looked like the before picture.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
