Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
