Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
