if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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