He is an equal opportunity slut.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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