Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
