Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
